He wants the feeling, not the meaning. It starts exciting. Always does. He looks at you like you’re special, like you’re the only one who gets him. And maybe for a while you believe it. You feel seen, wanted, needed even.
But something feels off. He’s there, but not really there. He doesn’t want closeness, he wants the rush. Here’s how you know he’s chasing moments, not meaning.
1. He Loves The Chase, Not The Calm
When it’s thrilling, he’s all in. Calls, texts, plans, everything. But when things quiet down, he slips away. Real connection feels too still for him. He confuses peace with boredom.
2. He Knows The Words, Not The Weight
He says all the right things, says he cares, says he’s different. But his actions never match. He likes sounding deep more than being deep.
3. He Jokes When You Get Serious
You open up, try to talk about feelings, and he laughs it off. “You’re thinking too much.” “It’s not that deep.” It’s not confidence, it’s fear pretending to be charm.
4. He Pulls You Close, Then Backs Away
One moment he’s warm, attentive, right there with you. The next, he’s cold and distant. It’s not about you, it’s about how closeness makes him uncomfortable.
5. He Gets Bored When Things Are Good
Normal love feels dull to him. He’s addicted to chaos, to the thrill of uncertainty. When everything feels stable, he doesn’t know how to sit in it.
6. He Doesn’t Really Listen
You talk, he nods. Maybe smiles. But he’s not hearing you. He’s waiting for his turn to speak. That’s not interest, that’s attention-seeking in disguise.
7. He Avoids Talking About The Future
Ask where things are heading, and he goes vague. “Let’s see what happens.” “I’m just going with the flow.” It sounds chill, but it’s really avoidance. He knows what he doesn’t want, not what he does.
8. He Loves The Idea Of You
He’s drawn to how you make him feel, not who you are. Once you ask for something real, he fades. He wants connection without accountability.
9. He Keeps You Guessing
Hot one day, distant the next. He calls it space, but it’s control. Keeps you thinking, wondering, waiting. That uncertainty gives him power.
10. He’s Afraid Of Being Known
You can feel it. There’s a wall he never lets you cross. He laughs, flirts, opens up just enough, then hides again. Being truly seen would mean facing himself, and he’s not ready for that.
Final Thought
Not every man like this is bad. Some are just lost, scared of what real connection requires.
But you can’t build love with someone who only shows up for the highs. You deserve presence, not performance. And sometimes walking away is the only way to remind yourself what real love is supposed to feel like.
