When caught, cheaters often use phrases like “You’re being paranoid/crazy,” “It was just a friend,” “It didn’t mean anything,” or “I was drunk” to deflect blame. Other common responses include making excuses like “You’re not paying attention to me anymore,” blaming the partner for being distant, or claiming the other person made the first move (“She kissed me first“).Â
Phrases used to deflect and deny
- Gaslighting:Â “You’re imagining things,” “You’re being paranoid,” or “It’s not what you think”.
- Downplaying the act:Â “It was just one kiss,” “It didn’t mean anything,” or “Nothing happened”.
- Shifting blame:Â “You’re always so distant,” “I only did it because you were never there for me,” or “If you weren’t so boring, I wouldn’t have done it”.
- Blaming the other person:Â “She came onto me,” “It was her fault,” or “He kept coming onto me”.Â
Phrases to confuse and manipulate
- Excuses:Â “I was drunk,” “I don’t know why I did it,” or “I was bored”.
- Claiming to be innocent:Â “He/she is just a friend” or “They’re just a friend from work”.
- Expressing remorse while avoiding accountability:Â “I’m so sorry, I love you, and I never want to lose you” or “I never wanted to hurt you”.Â
Phrases to sow doubt and confusion
- Claiming they are not in love with the other person:Â “I love you, but I’m not in love with you”.
- Claiming to be in love with their partner:Â “You’re the one I love” or “I still love you”.
- Making the partner feel guilty or insecure:Â “Why won’t you let me have any friends?” or “You’re making me feel like I can’t have any friends”.Â
