If you went for a run without stretching first, it would not be surprising if you pulled a muscle or ended up with a painful stitch. That same idea applies to sex, yet many people still treat foreplay as something optional rather than essential.Some see this pre-sex activity as nothing more than a quick starter to rush through before getting to penetration. That approach is similar to breaking into a sprint while you are still halfway through your first lunge or jumping jack.
Moving at the wrong pace during sex can create a big imbalance between partners. One person may reach the finish line quickly, while the other is left feeling far behind and unsatisfied.
Because of this imbalance, sex experts say there is “a huge orgasm gap between men and women.” This gap continues to be one of the most discussed issues in modern sex research.Understanding how much time to spend focusing on your partner’s pleasure plays a major role in improving intimacy and connection in the bedroom.
There is no single rule that fits everyone, as the ideal length of foreplay depends on your partner’s sex and their personal preferences.
To stretch the exercise comparison even further, not asking your partner what they enjoy is like trying to win a triathlon without bringing a bicycle. You might try your best, but you are missing a key part of the process.Certified sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice explained to Metro how timing often differs, saying: “Men can usually climax in around 5-7 minutes, whereas it typically takes a female anywhere between 20-30 minutes.”
Because of this difference, the sex expert suggests couples aim for around 15 to 20 minutes of foreplay to help both partners reach a stronger level of arousal.
Since men often reach arousal faster than women, it is important that foreplay works both ways. This helps “get her natural lubrication flowing and become aroused in a deeper state.”Taking this time does more than help with climax. It allows both partners to relax and enjoy the experience together, regardless of gender. Spending up to 20 minutes connecting before sex can play a key role in making the experience more enjoyable for both people
Nice explained: “The longer you’re engaged in foreplay, the more aroused and relaxed the body will be.”
“When your body is in a state of calm, the blood can then flow from the heart, lungs and brain and move down to the genitals, allowing the 10,000+ nerve endings there to be activated.”“This can then give a better overall sexual satisfaction to both partners.”
Nice also shared that trying different forms of foreplay can help couples slow things down. This may include edging, where arousal is built and paused before returning later, or breathwork, where partners focus on slow, steady breathing together.
